Walking Into a Room Alone: Lessons From My First Dance Class

External Networking

I walked to my first adult dance class on a rainy and windy Seattle day.  I met the dance instructor at checkin - a black woman in her twenties who looked effortlessly cool in an oversized jacket with M&M characters, frayed jeans and Converse sneakers.  I watched another woman with an androgynous style - waifishly thin and modified mullet hair - walk in after me.  She was the only other student who followed the instruction to arrive 10 - 15 minutes before class.  I approached her and introduced myself.  Her name was Jackie.  It was also her first dance class.

More students soon arrived.  They were all at least twenty years younger than me and wearing loose sweats with tshirts compared to my dri fit shorts and shirt more fitting for a Jazzercise class.  We started with a warm up of side steps, grapevines and light stretches.  I heard my knees crack - did anyone else hear that?  In the slight pause before starting the guided drills, Jackie said to me - ‘Yeah, we just did that!’  We made eye contact and mentally high-fived each other.  

Sometimes it takes just making one friend to feel comfortable in a new space.

Prior to a networking event, I attempt to identify other attendees so I can prioritize who I want to meet or sit next to at the table.  Sometimes the table host will send an email or calendar invitation so I can guess who is attending based on their email address.  Or the event has a list of speakers or sponsors.  I research attendees with whom I’d like to connect and loosely prepare my thoughts on why we should build a mutually beneficial relationship.  I am ready when we cross paths!

In many situations, I am standing alone in a room full of strangers.  It seems that everyone is standing in groups of two or more deep in conversation.  I look around for anyone I know.  But that isn’t the point of a networking event, right?!  We are there to meet NEW people, and maybe reconnect with those we already know.  But mostly we want to make new connections.  So I find that person also standing alone looking around for a friendly face.  I approach them and introduce myself.  Over time, we find other lost wanderers and invite them into our group.

It becomes easier - but not less uncomfortable - with practice.  I remind myself that we attend networking events to meet people, so we already have one thing in common.